Tuesday, December 27, 2011

To Train Up A Child? Or To Beat The Shit Out of Him?

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/27/9744840-controversy-grows-over-pro-spanking-book-after-abuse-deaths

I just don't understand some people.  The idea that children need to be tamed like they're wild beasts who will end up worshipping the devil if you don't beat them senseless (under the pretense of "spanking") just makes me crazy.  Combining religion and child-rearing advice is a recipe for abuse, whether it's making children think that "god" is watching them when they do wrong to hitting children because some book written 2,000 years ago "instructs" parents to do so---I will never understand.

In the hands of the narcissistic parent, the kind of "advice" doled out by Dobson and the two morons in this link becomes dangerous.

Monday, December 26, 2011

NAM As A Grandmother

Can you say "controlling, dramatic, turd?"
My older brother (AB) and his wife had the first grandchild on both sides.  Holy Crapoly!  The two grandmothers would compete with each other like their lives depended on it.  Between gifts for the kid and who went to visit the happy family more often, you would have thought that they were in some kind of grandparent Olympics or something. 

After the baby got to be over 6 months or so, my SIL would let him visit the grandparents for a few days at a time for overnights.  She was in grad school and not nursing anymore, and AB worked for an oil company in a week-on/week-off kind of schedule.  They also lived a few hours' drive away from both sets of grandparents, who lived within 15 minutes of each other. The two grandmothers were fucking nuts, and not just in a "love for their grandchild" kind of way.  They each had to outdo each other with their care of that child.  For example, if the child's hair had a slight uncooperative spot in it that made it stick up, and he was about to go to the other grandmother's house, then NAM would say, "I better fix that or 'Grams' will talk bad about me and tell people I don't take care of him."  If the child had just come from the other grandmother's house and had been bathed, changed, fed, etc., NAM would bathe him AGAIN, put different clothes on him, and try to feed him again.

The kid developed some serious eating problems and wouldn't eat, even as a 9-month-old infant.  The two grandmothers would boast about getting him to eat, comparing how much he ate while with them.  They were so desperate that the other grandmother put the kid in the sink naked in him bathtub ring and would shove food in his mouth every time he laughed.  They both tried to force-feed the kid, whether it was NAM trying to push infant cereal on him at 6 weeks, or holding him down trying to cram spoonfuls of baby food into his mouth.

The child ended up with serious food aversions and an addiction to junk food.  I can't really blame him.  I'm not sure if he got over any of it because I haven't had contact with him in over 5 years.  Of course NAM tried a bunch of crazy shit with my three, but I was able to put a stop to most of it.

More to come.