Monday, December 26, 2011

NAM As A Grandmother

Can you say "controlling, dramatic, turd?"
My older brother (AB) and his wife had the first grandchild on both sides.  Holy Crapoly!  The two grandmothers would compete with each other like their lives depended on it.  Between gifts for the kid and who went to visit the happy family more often, you would have thought that they were in some kind of grandparent Olympics or something. 

After the baby got to be over 6 months or so, my SIL would let him visit the grandparents for a few days at a time for overnights.  She was in grad school and not nursing anymore, and AB worked for an oil company in a week-on/week-off kind of schedule.  They also lived a few hours' drive away from both sets of grandparents, who lived within 15 minutes of each other. The two grandmothers were fucking nuts, and not just in a "love for their grandchild" kind of way.  They each had to outdo each other with their care of that child.  For example, if the child's hair had a slight uncooperative spot in it that made it stick up, and he was about to go to the other grandmother's house, then NAM would say, "I better fix that or 'Grams' will talk bad about me and tell people I don't take care of him."  If the child had just come from the other grandmother's house and had been bathed, changed, fed, etc., NAM would bathe him AGAIN, put different clothes on him, and try to feed him again.

The kid developed some serious eating problems and wouldn't eat, even as a 9-month-old infant.  The two grandmothers would boast about getting him to eat, comparing how much he ate while with them.  They were so desperate that the other grandmother put the kid in the sink naked in him bathtub ring and would shove food in his mouth every time he laughed.  They both tried to force-feed the kid, whether it was NAM trying to push infant cereal on him at 6 weeks, or holding him down trying to cram spoonfuls of baby food into his mouth.

The child ended up with serious food aversions and an addiction to junk food.  I can't really blame him.  I'm not sure if he got over any of it because I haven't had contact with him in over 5 years.  Of course NAM tried a bunch of crazy shit with my three, but I was able to put a stop to most of it.

More to come.


Jonsi said...

Oh my god. This is horrific and it made me so uncomfortable.

What you are describing is abuse! Just plain abuse. reminds me of the movie "Sybil." Did you ever see it? Ooh. Shivers.

Those grammies belong in straight jackets! They have set that little boy up for a LIFETIME of eating issues, self-esteem issues, and god-knows what other types of serious long-term mental/emotional problems.

Anonymous said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry (or both). This is *the* most pathetic thing I've ever heard. Kudos to you for sharing it. I'm sick to death of grandmothers usurping the role of "mother" in order to feel important. You're right in that it's the child who suffers! These sound like the worst grandmothers in the world. It would be better if they were 'neglectful'; it's not their job to "mother" anymore!

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right. My narcicist mother ruined my life and when I had children took them from me with lies and sneakiness. She was so jealous of the fact that I was their mother she did and said whatever she had to in order for her to become their "mother". She is the sickest individual I know. Now my daughter is 27 years old and surprise, surprise!!!! She is also a narcicist. They are more poisonous than a box jelly fish!