Tuesday, December 27, 2011

To Train Up A Child? Or To Beat The Shit Out of Him?

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/27/9744840-controversy-grows-over-pro-spanking-book-after-abuse-deaths

I just don't understand some people.  The idea that children need to be tamed like they're wild beasts who will end up worshipping the devil if you don't beat them senseless (under the pretense of "spanking") just makes me crazy.  Combining religion and child-rearing advice is a recipe for abuse, whether it's making children think that "god" is watching them when they do wrong to hitting children because some book written 2,000 years ago "instructs" parents to do so---I will never understand.

In the hands of the narcissistic parent, the kind of "advice" doled out by Dobson and the two morons in this link becomes dangerous.

7 comments:

q1605 said...

Isn't this from the same people that insist god loves you. He won't hesitate to drop kick you into an ever lasting lake of fire, but he will do it with love.

Pronoia Agape said...

When I first encountered Ezzo, Dobson, the Pearls and their ilk, I couldn't believe this was real.

This has nothing to do with MY Christ, who said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

People who deliberately and coldly hurt innocent little children in their God's name are Satanists in my book.

Claire said...

Those books aren't subtle, either, with their anti-child advice. You can't read very far into them without having a very clear idea of how dehumanized a concept of children the authors have. Only a very, very broken person could possibly read them and think "this is what I should do, this feels right." I pity those parents (including my mother) for not having better emotional resources or better interpersonal connections available to them as parents. I condemn them for not figuring out their own baggage and fixing it instead of bludgeoning their children with it.

The Pearls and Dobson both stretch my anti-censorship ideals to the extreme. I don't want to deny these authors the ability to publish their works, but I wish it were harder for them to find a publisher unethical enough to print it and a bookstore careless enough to sell it. I wish this stuff were rare and hard to find, instead of available in piles of 10 copies each on the B&N shelves.

pinkpearl said...

I think that people who advocate *against* corporal punishment tend to miss a key issue and this makes their advocacy less effective. They argue that corporal punishment doesn't work to actually improve a child's behaviour, that it causes psychological distress that may last a lifetime, not to mention physical trauma. All of that is true and an excellent rationale for NOT spanking children.

But. Abusive and especially narcissistic parents DON'T CARE about what corporal punishment does to the kid. The spankings and beatings are ONLY about the abusive parent's needs (for control, for an outlet, to feel powerful, whatever). So telling abusive parents that they are doing lasting harm to their kids won't work. Some of them may even WANT to hurt their kids.

WIth people like this, a different approach is needed. Shame, jail time, etc might work in some cases. Mostly the only sure way to protect the kids is to remove them from the abuse altogether or set up cameras in every part of the house. I'm not kidding.

Anonymous said...

That book, and others like it, are spectacularly vomit-inducing.

LSV

Sue Botchie said...

Spanking a child for playing in traffic and beating a child for spilling a glass of water are two different things. Please don't blame Scripture for reprobate monsters and dad-duhs.

Sweetness said...

Sue Botchie: There are many of us who know that hitting a child for ANY reason is wrong and cruel, not to mention lazy. And if you are feeling judged about your religious beliefs, perhaps you should tell someone who gives a shit.