A real problem for ACONs. I'm not in favor of any legalized rights for grandparents because of my own experience and that of people I know. Plus it makes things even more complicated in a divorce, when the children are being pulled in different directions already. There are also parents who must protect their children from the grandparents, and the "rights" movement doesn't address this. Nothing about the grandparents who were awful parents and think they are entitled to be in their grandchildren's lives, ordering around their children, and not accepting that their children are parents themselves. It's all about how grandmommy and granddaddy miss the precious child, and how they did absolutely nothing to deserve this poor treatment.
It's all about them. Their feelings. Their "pain."
I've read sob stories on message boards and in comments, and I see the same old shit.
"I don't know what I ever did. I love my grandchild so much, but my daughter won't let me see him. This is the most painful thing I've ever dealt with in my life. If only there were a law that gave me the right to see my grandson. Why is my daughter doing this to me?"
What I've yet to see is children who are harmed by not having grandparents. Children who have irreparable damage because they don't see or talk to grandparents. One could make the argument that there are children who are damaged because the grandparents aren't around to help out, but honestly these kids are suffering because of having shitty parents. If the situation is so bad, then grandparents only have to involve child services and try to get guardianship or custody.
My girls have no real grandparents. On my side, there's NAM and that family that we haven't talked to in 6 years. On their dad's side, there's his parents who have no real involvement with them. They don't call or send cards for birthdays. They don't send gifts. They don't try to keep in touch. The do, on the other hand, wait for the girls to go see them, and then browbeat the girls for not coming to see them more. We live 600 miles away, and the girls see their dad maybe once a year. They really aren't a priority to either their dad or their grandparents. You can tell what people think is important by where they spend their time, money, and effort.
Several years ago, after we had moved here (and away from relatives and such) the grandparents claimed they were sending a birthday card to my youngest. When it never arrived, she asked her dad about it, who then asked the grandparents. They claimed they got the address wrong. They claimed they would send it again. That child went to the mailbox every day for a month looking for her card from them. She was 6 years old, and it broke my cold, dead heart. When I asked their dad about it, he claimed that they would give her the card when she and her sisters went to visit them for Christmas (3 months later).
She never got that card.
No apologies. Just ridicule for wanting the card she was promised.
It's all about them. What a surprise.