I see no honor in Mothers’ Day. No specialness. Nothing happy.
I just feel pain. Pain for the mother I didn’t have. Pain because of a national day of appreciation for women who have children, whether the children were properly cared for or not. It is assumed that “mother” sacrificed, sweated, slaved, and struggled to properly take care of the children who are obligated to honor her on this special day. This and every Mothers’ Day.
And what if she doesn’t deserve it? What of those mothers who were abusive? What of the children who had to cut their mothers out of their lives in order to save their own sanity, or to ensure the safety of their own children?
There is no day for us. No recognition for those of us who did the unthinkable and stopped speaking to the woman who birthed or adopted us. What we do get is criticism. We’re told that we should forgive and forget because, after all, she’s your mother. As if that title makes everything ok.
The honor bestowed upon women simply for reproducing is repugnant. So you had a kid. Big deal. You used one of the features of your female body and brought forth another person. Or perhaps you went through some legal hoopla to acquire a child to whom you didn’t give birth. There’s nothing remarkable about that. Expensive, yes. Potentially life-threatening, yes.
To deserve all this credit and honor, a mother must do much more. For example, she must instill in her offspring a sense of who they are separately from her. She must show them respect, kindness, compassion, empathy, and must also model these traits so that her children learn them too. She must ensure that her children grow up to be productive and independent individuals who are a credit to humanity instead of a drain on it.
Only then does she deserve honor and approval. Or does she really deserve anything? For doing what she should have done anyway? Her job? I go back and forth on this one. Children don’t ask to be born, so I have to wonder if honoring women who’ve had kids is such a good idea ever.
Give birth or adopt, then get approval and attention?. And don’t even get me started on “push presents.” Diamonds and other jewelry for giving birth? I think it’s ludicrous and even borders on obscene. I'm all about women being treated as equals, but I think many have taken this too far and expect to be treated as superior, under the pretense of "feminism."
I don't expect gifts or acknowledgement on Mother's Day. Hell, even the woman given credit for being its founder ended up hating her creation. As with Valentine's Day, it's all about the merchandise. It's really a retail holiday designed to induce guilt-purchasing. Fortunately, long-distance calls aren't a big deal anymore, so there's no money for the phone companies in that.
Call me jaded, but perhaps Mother's Day can be the day you call your mother and tell her how she's fucked up your life, and that her superior attitude and controlling behaviors have made you want to bring up your own children completely differently.
"Hi, mom. Happy Mother's Day. I'm just calling to let you know that you did an awful job raising me--remember the bruises?--and tell you that I'll be raising my own children differently. You know, like trying harder and not treating them like shit? So take yourself out for a meal or something because I'm sure as fuck not going to. Bye."
Actually, it would probably be healthier to use Mother's Day as a reminder that you were able to free yourself from the vile woman and create a life for yourself that no longer revolves around her and constantly seeking her approval. But there is often a need to be a bit naughty and to try to get at least a little revenge. So here's an idea:
A homemade card that reads "Happy Mother's Day" on the outside, and when she opens it, it has the following screaming bold print:
You sick, twisted cunt.