Monday, October 24, 2016

Finally!

So what's happened to me in the last two years?  I became a drunk in 2014, got sober, moved back to within a short driving distance of the toxic family in 2015, relapsed (again), had my drunk ass dragged to the ER by the parents before I  nearly died of alcohol poisoning, got sober, relapsed, started seeing someone I went to high school with, married him a couple of weeks later, got sober, looked around and saw the huge mistake I'd made, stayed in touch with men friends from where I'd lived before, got busted (he smashed my phone and cut me off from communication, transportation, employment, etc)...

Started drinking again in secret while coping with being controlled excessively and terrorized as "punishment" for sending a racy text to someone I'd probably never see again, plotted my escape while trying to maintain my sanity as he buddied up to my parents and would call them when he thought I got out of line, listened to him blame me for my upbringing and rotten life, doing as my parents did by saying that anything bad that happened to me was because I was an atheist who didn't have Jesus.

So, it's been quite a ride. And yes, I'm sober, and the divorce will be final in one week.

Fuck him. Fuck all of them in the ass with a rusty spike.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Here I Am Again!

I keep disappearing from this blog.  I couldn't sign into the account from which it was created because I forgot my password and got locked out from trying too many times.  Isn't that the thing with us Adult Survivors of Abuse (ASA?).  Or ACONs.  The Adult Children of Narcissists?  We just keep trying and trying, and then we get it right in the ass?

On one hand, I hate it because it was a trigger for me to start drinking heavily back in 2014, but on the other, I have gotten a smidge of relief by writing and reaching out to so many (around the world, even) who identify with what I have written.  It doesn't matter if you're from some Deep South, American shithole (as I am) or live in Sonoma, Broken Arrow, LA, DC, or Portland.  Wellington or Liverpool, Amsterdam or Adelaide (in the words of Forrest Gump..."It's this whole other country.").  It's as though we are talking about the same monster.

I do apologize for not responding to any comments, especially from "anonymous" on or around the 25 of November, 2015.  I didn't check this email account as much as I should have, but I will endeavor to do better about that.  So perhaps that will be a New Year's Resolution for me, and that's coming from someone who never makes them.

I will be updating this blog soon.  Writing more and staying sober while (whilst?) doing so.

More to come...